http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BDVvB7Xx1w&feature=youtu.be
I'm sentimental, my kids love Elmo and this scene is pretty much our bedtime routine in how the conversation goes. If only I sang that well lol
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Super Powers
It is amazing how God has provided me with super
powers! No, I am not talking crazy. I have eyes on the back of my head, a lie
detector integrated in my brain, lips that provide healing with just one kiss,
super hearing that sounds an alarm in my brain when there’s trouble, arms that
dissolve fears with just one hug and a super sense and awareness that wakes me
up from a dead sleep when my child stops breathing because she is shocking in
vomit. Pretty amazing powers if you ask me!
My children trust those powers and count on them to
protect them, to comfort them, to make them feel safe and loved. They are also
annoyed by them because they know they can’t get away with anything lol. But
oh, how they try regardless .
I love how they will be crying, saying how bad it hurts and one kiss makes them
all better. I love seeing that smile and the love in their eyes that says “thank
you mami, for making it all better”. I love how their world was about to end
and then is all good and off they run ready to face the world again. As
frustrating as it is at times when they do the things they know better not to
do, it is also comical sometimes to watch them try to get away with it and
see that twinkle in their eyes that says “I know what I am doing but look at me,
I am so cute!, How can you get upset with me?” LOL Children try and push their
boundaries just to keep you on check! Some days I am too tired to find it
amusing and “the look” comes out. They know “the look” (another super power,
thank you God). That’s when they stop dead in their tracks and say “I love you
mami” AKA “please don’t be upset”. But “the look” should not be used in
abundance since it is this magnificent power that can help keep them safe in a
second. Take for example when the 20 month old is about to stick her finger in
the wall outlet that somehow escaped being covered, or when the 4yr old is about
to take off running into the street. So do not abuse the power of “the look”.
Is a precious tool to be used with discretion in order to keep it’s
effectiveness.
This world we live in is pretty messed up. We, as parents and even other adults need to remember to slow down, and take the time to teach our children about respect, self value, morals, hard work, compassion, empathy, responsibility, consequences to our actions, answering to some higher power. No matter what your faith is or what you believe in they have to know we are accountable for our actions, they need something to look up to, they need inspiration from us, so do what you preach. Not an easy job but one we should aspire to accomplish every day.
I had no idea where I was heading to when I sat down to write this post. There is so much going on in my life right now. Many, including me, are going through difficult times right now due to the economy, but as I look around I see so many things to be thankful for. Me personally I am thankful for God’s love and grace. You don’t have to agree, is what I believe and what gives me strength. I have the best motivation in the world to keep on going….my children. They are precious blessings and for some reason God granted me 7 beautiful souls to care for. I take that very seriously and I love the rewards that come along with it. Even my beautiful angel girl, who I will see one day motivates me. And the six I have here on earth are a constant source of joy, tears too but mostly joy. And the tears are not of their doing, is because of that amazing love I have for them that sometimes I cry when I am frustrated with situations that affect them. I look at my two grown boys and I know they have turned out alright because they had that base growing up. Makes me even more determined to do better with the remaining four.
I wish it was a better world but it starts at home. Sounds corny but children ARE our future. So even if you don’t have any keep this in mind. What you do, how you act, what you say at some point touches a child, so be mindful, care.
This world we live in is pretty messed up. We, as parents and even other adults need to remember to slow down, and take the time to teach our children about respect, self value, morals, hard work, compassion, empathy, responsibility, consequences to our actions, answering to some higher power. No matter what your faith is or what you believe in they have to know we are accountable for our actions, they need something to look up to, they need inspiration from us, so do what you preach. Not an easy job but one we should aspire to accomplish every day.
I had no idea where I was heading to when I sat down to write this post. There is so much going on in my life right now. Many, including me, are going through difficult times right now due to the economy, but as I look around I see so many things to be thankful for. Me personally I am thankful for God’s love and grace. You don’t have to agree, is what I believe and what gives me strength. I have the best motivation in the world to keep on going….my children. They are precious blessings and for some reason God granted me 7 beautiful souls to care for. I take that very seriously and I love the rewards that come along with it. Even my beautiful angel girl, who I will see one day motivates me. And the six I have here on earth are a constant source of joy, tears too but mostly joy. And the tears are not of their doing, is because of that amazing love I have for them that sometimes I cry when I am frustrated with situations that affect them. I look at my two grown boys and I know they have turned out alright because they had that base growing up. Makes me even more determined to do better with the remaining four.
I wish it was a better world but it starts at home. Sounds corny but children ARE our future. So even if you don’t have any keep this in mind. What you do, how you act, what you say at some point touches a child, so be mindful, care.
The Toddler Workout (Jan 28th 2012)
The tittle might suggest one of those trendy DVD
programs for toddlers that will make them more intelligent, better motor
coordinated….Nope, I am not referring to any of that. The truth is my toddler
daughter who is almost 22 months old gives me a work out. Any time that she is
free of her playpen or crib she is a force of nature that never stands stills
and never stays out of trouble. She is curious, devious and mischievous. Amazing
how little people learn so quick to watch out before they do what they know is
a no-no to see if you are looking, how they turn on the “cute” face as soon as
they are discovered.
I still think of her as a baby, she still has the baby roundness, the baby thin hair and she still wants the bobbies. But don’t let her looks deceive you, her intellectual capacity and ability to turn my world upside down merits recognition. But today I got justice as one of her infamous deeds backfired on her. She knows better than to mess with the dog’s dish and water bowl. Maybe after today she will remember better…
It was actually very funny. I heard the sound of the bowl (which is stainless steel) hitting something, I turned around and there she is holding it, trying to put it on the dinning room table. As I am staring to rush over saying “Coral put it down” she tries to hurry and do it and then it went into slow motion. Her face was priceless as she tilted the bowl and spilled the whole thing over herself! Her eyes went as round as saucers and she just stood there with her arms up looking at the bowl in amazement at this development. She was totally soaked and the floor became a huge puddle of water all around her.
This are the times it becomes so hard for me not to laugh even if I am feeling angry at their actions, because I have to bring the point across that, THAT is unacceptable behavior. But at the same time the whole picture, specially her facial expression is so comical. The shock of the event caused a good 5 second delay on her putting on the cute act. Of course this was a little difficult to accomplish looking like a wet rat, trying to move out of the crime scene and realizing its slippery. I saw the indecision in her face as she contemplated what to do knowing I am about to grab her and tell her a thing or two. She opted for tilting her head sideways and throwing that smile of hers hoping for the best. Inside I smiled, outside I tried to look stern as I grabbed her and said “the cute act is not going to work, mami us upset with you because you know not to grab the dog’s bowls “. And do not think for one second that she is too young to understand this. I am blessed with very smart children (I believe all kids are actually) and her being the baby has gotten an education already from watching her oldest siblings.
Things like this, well, maybe less wet, are the daily incidents I have multiple times during her waking hours. No matter how much I tried to keep conditions in a way she will not cause trouble (or so I think, but we all know better) , she always manages to find a way. Even from her playpen, siblings beware, “if you sit near I will pull your hair or casually throw a toy at your head. If you leave the Wii controller within my reach I will exit your game without saving, I might hide your favorite toy in some black hole only I know about, leave your coloring picture around and I will tear it up or crumble it and throw it in the trash, leave your snack within reach and I will eat it”.
So yeah, instead of going for a jog, I just ran after her, exercise my biceps by constantly picking her up and removing her from the top of a table, the edge of the couch, her sister’s room, etc., etc. And for all this efforts I get rewarded with sweet giggles, the pitty pat of little running feet, kisses and the best hugs ever : )
I still think of her as a baby, she still has the baby roundness, the baby thin hair and she still wants the bobbies. But don’t let her looks deceive you, her intellectual capacity and ability to turn my world upside down merits recognition. But today I got justice as one of her infamous deeds backfired on her. She knows better than to mess with the dog’s dish and water bowl. Maybe after today she will remember better…
It was actually very funny. I heard the sound of the bowl (which is stainless steel) hitting something, I turned around and there she is holding it, trying to put it on the dinning room table. As I am staring to rush over saying “Coral put it down” she tries to hurry and do it and then it went into slow motion. Her face was priceless as she tilted the bowl and spilled the whole thing over herself! Her eyes went as round as saucers and she just stood there with her arms up looking at the bowl in amazement at this development. She was totally soaked and the floor became a huge puddle of water all around her.
This are the times it becomes so hard for me not to laugh even if I am feeling angry at their actions, because I have to bring the point across that, THAT is unacceptable behavior. But at the same time the whole picture, specially her facial expression is so comical. The shock of the event caused a good 5 second delay on her putting on the cute act. Of course this was a little difficult to accomplish looking like a wet rat, trying to move out of the crime scene and realizing its slippery. I saw the indecision in her face as she contemplated what to do knowing I am about to grab her and tell her a thing or two. She opted for tilting her head sideways and throwing that smile of hers hoping for the best. Inside I smiled, outside I tried to look stern as I grabbed her and said “the cute act is not going to work, mami us upset with you because you know not to grab the dog’s bowls “. And do not think for one second that she is too young to understand this. I am blessed with very smart children (I believe all kids are actually) and her being the baby has gotten an education already from watching her oldest siblings.
Things like this, well, maybe less wet, are the daily incidents I have multiple times during her waking hours. No matter how much I tried to keep conditions in a way she will not cause trouble (or so I think, but we all know better) , she always manages to find a way. Even from her playpen, siblings beware, “if you sit near I will pull your hair or casually throw a toy at your head. If you leave the Wii controller within my reach I will exit your game without saving, I might hide your favorite toy in some black hole only I know about, leave your coloring picture around and I will tear it up or crumble it and throw it in the trash, leave your snack within reach and I will eat it”.
So yeah, instead of going for a jog, I just ran after her, exercise my biceps by constantly picking her up and removing her from the top of a table, the edge of the couch, her sister’s room, etc., etc. And for all this efforts I get rewarded with sweet giggles, the pitty pat of little running feet, kisses and the best hugs ever : )
Single Parent Woes (Jan 18th 2012)
Being a single parent is not an easy thing
to do. Specially when you get sick, or there is something wrong with you. Add
to that not having family in town, having well meaning friends but who are
busy with their jobs and own families and you find that you alone are the only
thing your children have to take care of their hourly needs.
Today my 10 year old daughter realized how hard it is at times to be a parent by herself.
I had a very bad day. I need two root canals but is something I can’t take care of right now. I have dealt with the pain on and off as it comes and goes using Ibuprophen. I woke up this morning with slight pain, but the kind I knew would escalate. So at 6 am I took 800 mg. I know that’s ok since is how I got through two c-sections recovery. By 10 am the pain was pretty bad. it makes my head hurt, my ear and it feels like somebody shot me and the bullet is stuck on the side of my face. But I know better than to take any more medication without at least 6 hours in between.
My grandmother in law called to see what time the kids would be home to come over as she got them something at the store. I haven’t seen her since Thanks Giving for one reason or another (including my dumb van problems) so I was more than happy to tell her to come over. Plus the kids would love seeing her too. She is an amazing lady and a wonderful great grandma to them. It was a short day at school so they would be home by 1. I figured that I would be taking meds by 12 so I should be ok by the time she got here around 2pm.
Boy was I wrong! The pain really didn’t go away, it just stayed at the level that it was , which was a good 6 or 7 on a 1 to 10 scale. I did loved having her over and I smiled and chat with her without letting know how much I was hurting. She left around 3 pm and my pain exploded. Nausea overtook me along with dizziness due to the intensity of it. I couldn’t take anything else until 6 pm…. I put the 21 month old down for a nap and told the other kids I needed to lay down. They are usually well behave and were entertained playing Prates of the Caribbean on the WII. I laid down and the pain was pretty unbelievable. The nausea was horrible and I couldn’t focus my vision. It got so bad I started to cry. I never do that…Even through tough labors I didn’t cry as I did this time. Unfortunately my kids heard me. My 10 year old is a very sensitive girl, so she came over and started to cry too. I explained to her it was just that I was in a lot of pain and that it would be ok. After that she took charge or her siblings. I managed to sleep for about an hour after much trouble and the pain etc continued to be as excruciating.
Then the baby woke up from her nap. Estrella ( the oldest) came and asked me what to do and I told her to put her in the playpen so that she could be in the living room with them. I can hear everything thats going on in my room. Of course my 21 month old doesn’t like being in the play pen too much at times. She is very active and loves to have free run of the house so she was crying in protest. Noel, who will be 6 in April was saying he was hungry and wanted a sandwich and Analise who is 4 was trying to convince her sister that she could have a lollipop. It was the normal chaos I deal with daily, but I was still incapacitated by pain, nausea and dizziness. I heard Estrella’s frustration when she said, “Now I know how hard it is to be a mami, how does she does it?” I called her and told her the baby will get over being upset about being in the play pen, give her some toys she doesn’t have in there and it will distract her, you can all have sandwiches for dinner and tell Analise she can have the lollipop after dinner.
So she calmed the baby, made sandwiches and came back and said “It’s so hard to be a mami, I am sorry I am such a pain sometimes”. This would had made me laugh if I hadn’t been so miserable. Instead I cried again out of frustration and out of love for my precious child. I told her I was very sorry and she said “What are you sorry for? You haven’t done anything’, I said “I am sorry I couldn’t take care of you guys this evening and you had to do it”. Then she said “Don’t be sorry Mami, you are not feeling well, you need to rest, I can do it, do you want me to put everybody to bed when is time?”. God I am so blessed! I told her no, I would go lay in the living room until bed time and then put them in bed. By the way the baby had a sandwich too lol.
I was still in so much pain, the nausea wouldn’t leave me and I couldn’t stand to keep my eyes open. Noel brought me a pillow so I could be more comfortable and they watched a Barbie movie. Poor kid has to watch 80% girly movies since he is the only boy among the 4 of them and my oldest boys are grown and do not live here. At 6 pm I took another dose
I managed to semi sleep some more while they watched the movie and then it was time for bed. They know the routine, bathroom , drink water and bed. Sure they didn’t take a bath today but who cares. it was raining all day so they did nothing that would made them sweat or dirty lol. Noel has been sick and he is prone to develop asthma attacks so he has been sleeping with the humidifier on. I set it up while they were using the bathroom, warmed up a glass of milk for the baby and put them to bed. By then my pain had finally subside enough to be a throbbing but no more nausea or dizziness. My oldest daughter instructed me to get a good night sleep.
I managed to eat a little something and took a shower.
I am writing now, killing time as I know if I don’t take more meds at 12am I will greatly regret it later. That should get me through to 6 am which is when I get up to get them ready for school.
I am use to dealing with my kids on my own as my ex’s work has always involved a fair amount of traveling. Yet there are some of the times I feel alone, and frustrated and guilty that I am not super mom. But then my kids do things like make me a certificate that says “Awesome mami, you are magnificent, I love you” and leave it on my bedside table for me to see and I know I must be doing something right : )
Today my 10 year old daughter realized how hard it is at times to be a parent by herself.
I had a very bad day. I need two root canals but is something I can’t take care of right now. I have dealt with the pain on and off as it comes and goes using Ibuprophen. I woke up this morning with slight pain, but the kind I knew would escalate. So at 6 am I took 800 mg. I know that’s ok since is how I got through two c-sections recovery. By 10 am the pain was pretty bad. it makes my head hurt, my ear and it feels like somebody shot me and the bullet is stuck on the side of my face. But I know better than to take any more medication without at least 6 hours in between.
My grandmother in law called to see what time the kids would be home to come over as she got them something at the store. I haven’t seen her since Thanks Giving for one reason or another (including my dumb van problems) so I was more than happy to tell her to come over. Plus the kids would love seeing her too. She is an amazing lady and a wonderful great grandma to them. It was a short day at school so they would be home by 1. I figured that I would be taking meds by 12 so I should be ok by the time she got here around 2pm.
Boy was I wrong! The pain really didn’t go away, it just stayed at the level that it was , which was a good 6 or 7 on a 1 to 10 scale. I did loved having her over and I smiled and chat with her without letting know how much I was hurting. She left around 3 pm and my pain exploded. Nausea overtook me along with dizziness due to the intensity of it. I couldn’t take anything else until 6 pm…. I put the 21 month old down for a nap and told the other kids I needed to lay down. They are usually well behave and were entertained playing Prates of the Caribbean on the WII. I laid down and the pain was pretty unbelievable. The nausea was horrible and I couldn’t focus my vision. It got so bad I started to cry. I never do that…Even through tough labors I didn’t cry as I did this time. Unfortunately my kids heard me. My 10 year old is a very sensitive girl, so she came over and started to cry too. I explained to her it was just that I was in a lot of pain and that it would be ok. After that she took charge or her siblings. I managed to sleep for about an hour after much trouble and the pain etc continued to be as excruciating.
Then the baby woke up from her nap. Estrella ( the oldest) came and asked me what to do and I told her to put her in the playpen so that she could be in the living room with them. I can hear everything thats going on in my room. Of course my 21 month old doesn’t like being in the play pen too much at times. She is very active and loves to have free run of the house so she was crying in protest. Noel, who will be 6 in April was saying he was hungry and wanted a sandwich and Analise who is 4 was trying to convince her sister that she could have a lollipop. It was the normal chaos I deal with daily, but I was still incapacitated by pain, nausea and dizziness. I heard Estrella’s frustration when she said, “Now I know how hard it is to be a mami, how does she does it?” I called her and told her the baby will get over being upset about being in the play pen, give her some toys she doesn’t have in there and it will distract her, you can all have sandwiches for dinner and tell Analise she can have the lollipop after dinner.
So she calmed the baby, made sandwiches and came back and said “It’s so hard to be a mami, I am sorry I am such a pain sometimes”. This would had made me laugh if I hadn’t been so miserable. Instead I cried again out of frustration and out of love for my precious child. I told her I was very sorry and she said “What are you sorry for? You haven’t done anything’, I said “I am sorry I couldn’t take care of you guys this evening and you had to do it”. Then she said “Don’t be sorry Mami, you are not feeling well, you need to rest, I can do it, do you want me to put everybody to bed when is time?”. God I am so blessed! I told her no, I would go lay in the living room until bed time and then put them in bed. By the way the baby had a sandwich too lol.
I was still in so much pain, the nausea wouldn’t leave me and I couldn’t stand to keep my eyes open. Noel brought me a pillow so I could be more comfortable and they watched a Barbie movie. Poor kid has to watch 80% girly movies since he is the only boy among the 4 of them and my oldest boys are grown and do not live here. At 6 pm I took another dose
I managed to semi sleep some more while they watched the movie and then it was time for bed. They know the routine, bathroom , drink water and bed. Sure they didn’t take a bath today but who cares. it was raining all day so they did nothing that would made them sweat or dirty lol. Noel has been sick and he is prone to develop asthma attacks so he has been sleeping with the humidifier on. I set it up while they were using the bathroom, warmed up a glass of milk for the baby and put them to bed. By then my pain had finally subside enough to be a throbbing but no more nausea or dizziness. My oldest daughter instructed me to get a good night sleep.
I managed to eat a little something and took a shower.
I am writing now, killing time as I know if I don’t take more meds at 12am I will greatly regret it later. That should get me through to 6 am which is when I get up to get them ready for school.
I am use to dealing with my kids on my own as my ex’s work has always involved a fair amount of traveling. Yet there are some of the times I feel alone, and frustrated and guilty that I am not super mom. But then my kids do things like make me a certificate that says “Awesome mami, you are magnificent, I love you” and leave it on my bedside table for me to see and I know I must be doing something right : )
What Really Counts Parenting 101 (Jan 2012)
I just watched a most wonderful movie. It made me
cry and it made me smile. When the movie was over I thought to myself “I need
to write about this in my blog”. For a good 5 minutes I looked in vain for my
eye glasses until I realized they were on my head. I had pushed them off to the
top of my head when I went to rub my eyes and massage my temple as I had a bad
headache. I wear bifocals but my long vision is not as in much need as my near
one so I totally forgot to put them back down and kept watching the
movie.
I needed to get my laptop, since I had left it on my desk in the living room. I clumsily stumbled over the area rug, I forgot it was there, I only put it there two days ago. It would had helped if I had turned on the light first. I grabbed my laptop forgetting the mouse was connected. Yes, I was a Ballerina and a Ballroom dancer and yet I manage to be totally clumsy and scatter brain sometimes.
Anyways, I managed to make it back to my bedroom with the lap top, the mouse, a half full can of Coke and a brownie. Have I mentioned before I am a confessed chocoholic? So now ready with my late night snack (very unhealthy I know, but hey, we all deserve a little indulgence once in a while) I am finally ready to get to the task at hand.
The movie is an old movie with Sean Penn and Michelle Phifer, I Am Sam. My mother or my sister had given it to me as a Christmas present years ago and for some unknown reason I had never watched it. Right now with my lack of TV and internet and nights that start too early, I have gotten into the habit of reading or watching a DVD in bed after I put the kids to bed. It helps me relax and go to sleep.
The movie is about a father with a disability. He has a degree of Autism and the intellect of a 6 year old. Under unknown circumstances he impregnated a woman that ran away the moment they left the hospital with his daughter, leaving him to raise her. Everything was going good with the aid of his neighbor until his daughter was about to turn 7 and he gets erroneously arrested for soliciting prostitution. He really wasn’t, watch the movie. Anyhow child services gets involved and the movie is about his battle to be able to keep his daughter.
I do not want to spoil the movie if you are really interested in watching, but let me say I strongly recommend it. As parents there are times we obsess about what we should give our children, their academics, and a million things we are supposed to provide. But when it comes down to it, the one thing they need the most is our love. Even in the craziest of days when we think we don’t have an iota of patience left, when we feel we have no clue how to deal with something, when we feel like pulling our hair in frustration it all comes down to giving and showing them love, taking the time to really listen to them.
We are human beings therefore we are not perfect, we don’t have all the answers. Life, circumstances are constantly changing, and not only that, but every child is different. What may have applied to one might not apply to another, what works with one may not work with another. I have been raising 6 children in the last 21 years and I still get stumped sometimes and think “wow, I never had to deal with this before”. But the one thing that is universal, is love.
If we constantly show our children love, there is hardly a mistake, an outburst, a momentarily lack of attention, a non pleasant show of authority (aka no, you can not eat candy for breakfast etc.) that a child wont get over if you constantly show them love. On occasion I have felt like I had been a lousy mother and it never ceases to amaze me when my kids tell me often what a great mom I am. I am glad they feel that way. I know is not because I am perfect, God knows I am far from it. I know is not because I wrote the book on parenting, like most I have gone by what I was taught by my own mother’s actions, by my morals and judgment on what I think is best for them and by the seat of my pants. Specially during the last two years when my life was drastically changing, my personal emotional life was rather stormy and there were days I was so distraught inside and exhausted I thought I could not go on. There was one thing that kept me going and that was my children , my love for them and their love for me. My youngest was totally dependent on me as a newborn, I knew she needed not only her physical needs met but also to feel loved, safe. When the separation came all of them needed it more than ever. With all the changes they needed to feel and know mami was the same mami as always. I confess, some days it was very difficult to be that way, I wanted to crawl into a corner and cry like a baby. Some days my patience was very limited, my smile forced and the tears barely held at bay. But they had a good base. The love shown to them through the years, having the strength and humility to say “I’m sorry” when I snapped or was unjust, to admit when I was wrong all show them I love them too. It also teaches them that just because sometimes we get angry at each other or are disappointed doesn’t mean we stop loving each other. Teaches them to look at the bigger picture.
Another thing I found this movie illustrates is that is impossible for us to provide everything on our own. A good “support system’, circle of love if you will, is extremely beneficial to them. My kids are very blessed to have this. Their father and I are not together but they have a father who is present in their lives. It hasn’t been easy sometimes but we have been able to put our differences to the side to be parents, we can share times with the kids together too, not just apart. It shows the kids, we are not the same family we were but we are still the same parents they always had who love them and care for them. Sure they would be ok with just me if their dad had nothing to do with them but no matter what I did I could never give them what he as a father gives them, same as he can’t give them what I as a mother do. That’s why we have work on being their parents first and foremost after all we both love them and there is no point in letting our personal issues get in the way of that. They also have family members and friends in the circle. Why is this so beneficial? Because all this people that love them have something unique to bring to their lives that no other could. When we recognize this and allow others to be part of our children’s life we enrich it.
So when you feel at your wits ends, remember that some moments,some circumstances, some mistakes are ok and they will come out alright if they have constant love not just in our hearts but shown to them . Children have an amazing capacity to forgive and to see past the “cover of the book”. And remember, like I said before none of us are super parents … but we can be imperfectly perfect parents to our children : )
I needed to get my laptop, since I had left it on my desk in the living room. I clumsily stumbled over the area rug, I forgot it was there, I only put it there two days ago. It would had helped if I had turned on the light first. I grabbed my laptop forgetting the mouse was connected. Yes, I was a Ballerina and a Ballroom dancer and yet I manage to be totally clumsy and scatter brain sometimes.
Anyways, I managed to make it back to my bedroom with the lap top, the mouse, a half full can of Coke and a brownie. Have I mentioned before I am a confessed chocoholic? So now ready with my late night snack (very unhealthy I know, but hey, we all deserve a little indulgence once in a while) I am finally ready to get to the task at hand.
The movie is an old movie with Sean Penn and Michelle Phifer, I Am Sam. My mother or my sister had given it to me as a Christmas present years ago and for some unknown reason I had never watched it. Right now with my lack of TV and internet and nights that start too early, I have gotten into the habit of reading or watching a DVD in bed after I put the kids to bed. It helps me relax and go to sleep.
The movie is about a father with a disability. He has a degree of Autism and the intellect of a 6 year old. Under unknown circumstances he impregnated a woman that ran away the moment they left the hospital with his daughter, leaving him to raise her. Everything was going good with the aid of his neighbor until his daughter was about to turn 7 and he gets erroneously arrested for soliciting prostitution. He really wasn’t, watch the movie. Anyhow child services gets involved and the movie is about his battle to be able to keep his daughter.
I do not want to spoil the movie if you are really interested in watching, but let me say I strongly recommend it. As parents there are times we obsess about what we should give our children, their academics, and a million things we are supposed to provide. But when it comes down to it, the one thing they need the most is our love. Even in the craziest of days when we think we don’t have an iota of patience left, when we feel we have no clue how to deal with something, when we feel like pulling our hair in frustration it all comes down to giving and showing them love, taking the time to really listen to them.
We are human beings therefore we are not perfect, we don’t have all the answers. Life, circumstances are constantly changing, and not only that, but every child is different. What may have applied to one might not apply to another, what works with one may not work with another. I have been raising 6 children in the last 21 years and I still get stumped sometimes and think “wow, I never had to deal with this before”. But the one thing that is universal, is love.
If we constantly show our children love, there is hardly a mistake, an outburst, a momentarily lack of attention, a non pleasant show of authority (aka no, you can not eat candy for breakfast etc.) that a child wont get over if you constantly show them love. On occasion I have felt like I had been a lousy mother and it never ceases to amaze me when my kids tell me often what a great mom I am. I am glad they feel that way. I know is not because I am perfect, God knows I am far from it. I know is not because I wrote the book on parenting, like most I have gone by what I was taught by my own mother’s actions, by my morals and judgment on what I think is best for them and by the seat of my pants. Specially during the last two years when my life was drastically changing, my personal emotional life was rather stormy and there were days I was so distraught inside and exhausted I thought I could not go on. There was one thing that kept me going and that was my children , my love for them and their love for me. My youngest was totally dependent on me as a newborn, I knew she needed not only her physical needs met but also to feel loved, safe. When the separation came all of them needed it more than ever. With all the changes they needed to feel and know mami was the same mami as always. I confess, some days it was very difficult to be that way, I wanted to crawl into a corner and cry like a baby. Some days my patience was very limited, my smile forced and the tears barely held at bay. But they had a good base. The love shown to them through the years, having the strength and humility to say “I’m sorry” when I snapped or was unjust, to admit when I was wrong all show them I love them too. It also teaches them that just because sometimes we get angry at each other or are disappointed doesn’t mean we stop loving each other. Teaches them to look at the bigger picture.
Another thing I found this movie illustrates is that is impossible for us to provide everything on our own. A good “support system’, circle of love if you will, is extremely beneficial to them. My kids are very blessed to have this. Their father and I are not together but they have a father who is present in their lives. It hasn’t been easy sometimes but we have been able to put our differences to the side to be parents, we can share times with the kids together too, not just apart. It shows the kids, we are not the same family we were but we are still the same parents they always had who love them and care for them. Sure they would be ok with just me if their dad had nothing to do with them but no matter what I did I could never give them what he as a father gives them, same as he can’t give them what I as a mother do. That’s why we have work on being their parents first and foremost after all we both love them and there is no point in letting our personal issues get in the way of that. They also have family members and friends in the circle. Why is this so beneficial? Because all this people that love them have something unique to bring to their lives that no other could. When we recognize this and allow others to be part of our children’s life we enrich it.
So when you feel at your wits ends, remember that some moments,some circumstances, some mistakes are ok and they will come out alright if they have constant love not just in our hearts but shown to them . Children have an amazing capacity to forgive and to see past the “cover of the book”. And remember, like I said before none of us are super parents … but we can be imperfectly perfect parents to our children : )
The Catcher in the Rye (Dec26 2012)
I do not remember why, as it has been many years
ago since I had read it, but The Catcher in the Rye by J D Salinger use to be
one of my favorite books I read in High School. While I was rummaging through
some of the stuff I hadn’t unpacked, I found my old book. I knew what it was
about of course but couldn’t tell you why I had liked it so much. I read it
again today. I must confess for a good 3/4 of the book I was wondering why it
was such a favorite of mine. I mean, I could see how I probably found myself in
some aspects of the main character, being a teenager myself at the time, going
through all the insecurities, fears, and pains of growing up and finding my path
in life.
I have been thinking about it all evening. There are several things in the book that kept coming back to my thoughts. The sole character of this book is Holden Caulfield. Yes there are secondary characters but really they are not of much importance except to demonstrate how Holden perceives the world.
One thing aside, that has nothing to do with my philosophical thoughts, but that amused me as I read today was the mention that a Jaguar cost “damm near four thousand bucks”. Of course the first publishing of the book was in 1945.
Anyhow, back to Holden. He pretty much sees everything in the world as a big fat lie. Now I do not perceive the world in such manner but I have always had a very strong dislike of deception , lies, and hypocrisy.So I can see how I probably identified with him quite a bit back when I first read the book. Being in High School back then,as Holden is, many of the things he observes and talks about are/were very real.
Sadly many of those things do continue on through adulthood for some. And what I mean by that is that many continue to live in their appearance world, and others continue to be as lost as Holden was that winter even though they have left their teen years behind many winters ago.
There are some quotes from the book I find worth retyping because to me it encloses the whole discussion. Most of them are from a conversation between Holden and his former English teacher, Mr. Antolini.
Mr. Antolini tells Holden that he is headed for a terrible fall.
“ The man falling isn’t permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling. The whole arrangement’s designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking for something their own environment couldn’t supply them with. Or they thought their own environment couldn’t supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up before they ever really even got started.”
He then writes something on a piece of paper for Holden to read carefully and keep with him.
“the mark of an immature man is that he want to die nobly for a cause, when the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.”
He then advises him that “one of this days, you’re going to have to find out where you want to go, and then you got to start going there”
And here lies one of my observations of life. I believe the majority of us go through this phase more than once in life.The biggest one being going from childhood to adulthood. But then life keeps moving forward and it might be for different reasons that we are faced with this question again but I believe it can be as daunting as the first time in some cases, although we are supposed to be better equipped to handle it. Some live in this constant circle and they never get out of it, a lot find their way into a new direction and a few lucky ones never encounter it again in such force and gently move from one path to another or are blessed to only have to make minimal adjustments because they found their true path early on and for whatever reason were granted all the conditions to stay on it for life.
Farther in the conversation Mr. Antolini tells Holden:
“Among other things you will find that you’re not the only person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior…many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You will learn from them-if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you.”
Of course the key words here are: “if you want to”. Some never do…
Maybe that is one of the reasons I like writing so much and I usually write from my own experiences and thoughts. Might not help anybody to share it, but it might. You just never know. Sometimes you are blessed enough to actually find out that you have in fact helped somebody just by sharing your thoughts and experiences. Maybe you didn’t clear their questions but you motivated them to search their own answers in a positive way. Or made something click in their minds that they knew but couldn’t see before. I know I had benefited from others who have shared.
In the end Holden crashes and the book is not very clear about which road he takes after that but it does gives a hint that he might finally be willing to become less pessimist and more focus in building a life for himself where he can be true to himself and maybe even happy in this complicated world. In other words he starts to grow up and get out of his funk by approaching life with a different attitude,at least to consider thinking about another possible way. And through it all there is one thing that ties him to that road. Children…his little brother (even though he had died) and his little sister and children as a whole. You see, children in general are honest and are able to enjoy the moment and see beauty and fun in things we start to forget as we grow up and become more preoccupied with world/man matters and expectations. It is true we all have to grow up at some point and is sad when some don’t and continue to live as confused teenagers. But if we can keep the honesty and ability to adapt without compromising that most children have we are much better off as adults. This are some of the lessons I am trying to instill in my own children and hopefully I am doing a half decent job at it.Their empathy, loyalty, imagination, colorful view of things are valuable traits to preserve. Traits that I am trying to remember to keep in myself as I travel through life and its challenges. This are things that used in a mature balance can make our life fuller and more beautiful and full of meaning.
I have been thinking about it all evening. There are several things in the book that kept coming back to my thoughts. The sole character of this book is Holden Caulfield. Yes there are secondary characters but really they are not of much importance except to demonstrate how Holden perceives the world.
One thing aside, that has nothing to do with my philosophical thoughts, but that amused me as I read today was the mention that a Jaguar cost “damm near four thousand bucks”. Of course the first publishing of the book was in 1945.
Anyhow, back to Holden. He pretty much sees everything in the world as a big fat lie. Now I do not perceive the world in such manner but I have always had a very strong dislike of deception , lies, and hypocrisy.So I can see how I probably identified with him quite a bit back when I first read the book. Being in High School back then,as Holden is, many of the things he observes and talks about are/were very real.
Sadly many of those things do continue on through adulthood for some. And what I mean by that is that many continue to live in their appearance world, and others continue to be as lost as Holden was that winter even though they have left their teen years behind many winters ago.
There are some quotes from the book I find worth retyping because to me it encloses the whole discussion. Most of them are from a conversation between Holden and his former English teacher, Mr. Antolini.
Mr. Antolini tells Holden that he is headed for a terrible fall.
“ The man falling isn’t permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling. The whole arrangement’s designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking for something their own environment couldn’t supply them with. Or they thought their own environment couldn’t supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up before they ever really even got started.”
He then writes something on a piece of paper for Holden to read carefully and keep with him.
“the mark of an immature man is that he want to die nobly for a cause, when the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.”
He then advises him that “one of this days, you’re going to have to find out where you want to go, and then you got to start going there”
And here lies one of my observations of life. I believe the majority of us go through this phase more than once in life.The biggest one being going from childhood to adulthood. But then life keeps moving forward and it might be for different reasons that we are faced with this question again but I believe it can be as daunting as the first time in some cases, although we are supposed to be better equipped to handle it. Some live in this constant circle and they never get out of it, a lot find their way into a new direction and a few lucky ones never encounter it again in such force and gently move from one path to another or are blessed to only have to make minimal adjustments because they found their true path early on and for whatever reason were granted all the conditions to stay on it for life.
Farther in the conversation Mr. Antolini tells Holden:
“Among other things you will find that you’re not the only person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior…many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You will learn from them-if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you.”
Of course the key words here are: “if you want to”. Some never do…
Maybe that is one of the reasons I like writing so much and I usually write from my own experiences and thoughts. Might not help anybody to share it, but it might. You just never know. Sometimes you are blessed enough to actually find out that you have in fact helped somebody just by sharing your thoughts and experiences. Maybe you didn’t clear their questions but you motivated them to search their own answers in a positive way. Or made something click in their minds that they knew but couldn’t see before. I know I had benefited from others who have shared.
In the end Holden crashes and the book is not very clear about which road he takes after that but it does gives a hint that he might finally be willing to become less pessimist and more focus in building a life for himself where he can be true to himself and maybe even happy in this complicated world. In other words he starts to grow up and get out of his funk by approaching life with a different attitude,at least to consider thinking about another possible way. And through it all there is one thing that ties him to that road. Children…his little brother (even though he had died) and his little sister and children as a whole. You see, children in general are honest and are able to enjoy the moment and see beauty and fun in things we start to forget as we grow up and become more preoccupied with world/man matters and expectations. It is true we all have to grow up at some point and is sad when some don’t and continue to live as confused teenagers. But if we can keep the honesty and ability to adapt without compromising that most children have we are much better off as adults. This are some of the lessons I am trying to instill in my own children and hopefully I am doing a half decent job at it.Their empathy, loyalty, imagination, colorful view of things are valuable traits to preserve. Traits that I am trying to remember to keep in myself as I travel through life and its challenges. This are things that used in a mature balance can make our life fuller and more beautiful and full of meaning.
The Child Within (Dec 2012)
I love watching the children being spell bound watching the old classics like How the Grinch stole Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, Jack Frost and all the others. There’s also the newer movies like the Santa Claus ones with Tim Allen. One of my favorite newer ones is the North Pole Express. I love its theme of growing up and loosing that innocence and illusion and finding it all over again. Do you hear the jingle bell? I do. Yes I am a big kid at heart.
Is great to make hot coco shock full of marshmallows with the kids, hear their laughter of anticipation and see their funny faces with their little foam mustaches. Everybody in their winter pj’s, cuddling up on the couch with their favorite character blankets over their laps. No matter how many times they have seen any given movie they always laugh, uhhhs and ahhhhs . It puts a smile on my face. This is what Christmas is really about, cherishing each other, spending time together, being a family. After all we are celebrating the birth of Jesus and his main message to us was love one another. As I write this I am watching Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp. The grandfather tells Charlie, when he wants to sell the ticket to help the family with the money: “young man there is lots of money out there, they print more every day, but there are only 5 golden tickets in the world and there will never be any more” He wants him to experience this rare opportunity, to enjoy it, to live the moment with his grandfather who gave him his last coin to purchase a chocolate bar, why? Because he wanted his grandkid to have hope for something special, to be a kid . Many have lost what Christmas should be about, is not about gifts, is not about parties. Sure those are nice elements of Christmas but should not be the focus.
When our children grow up they will not remember what toy they got but they will remember snuggling with you, they will remember that you took the time to read them a Christmas book over and over, the fun they had baking cookies with you, making a popcorn strand for the tree, dancing together. Sometimes life gets tough, or busy and we forget to take a time out and be kids with our kids but when I think of my favorite memories none of them have to do with making a budget, or doing laundry, or a business meeting. My favorite memories are of Analise with a red glittery mouth because she tried to eat an apple ornament of the tree, Arturo and David jumping on my bed telling me to get up, Santa came, of Estrella, Noel and Analise covered in flour when we made ornaments out of home made “clay”. Coral finally figuring out how to rip off the wrapping paper and having so much fun doing it. Things like that are what makes my life extra special. Of course there are other things but this blog is about parenting after all.
So again I went off the theme of movies. You know going from one thing to another and then back again is a common side effect of motherhood. At least for me lol Seems that when you have gone for years starting to do something and then being interrupted by a crying baby, a thirsty child, a boo boo that needs a kiss, a fight that needs a referee , a homework question and the list goes on and on. And by the time you are done you forgot what you were doing, see something else that needs to get done, get working on that, get interrupted again….what was I saying? lol You get my drift
Oh yes, Christmas movies. I love them all, the kiddy ones and the classics, the tear jerkers . I know most children do not like watching the ones like It’s a wonderful Life and the likes. And that’s alright. If you have a partner is nice time to watch them after the kids go to bed and enjoy some adult time. All parents need some time to relax and not be “on duty”. I do not have someone at the moment but that’s ok, I still enjoy watching them by myself and there’s nobody around to see me get all sentimental and cry lol Or watching with a friend that is as much a silly goof as me. Either way is a great way to end the evening. Add some coffee or an adult drink of choice, put your feet up and we are in business.
Snow White I am not....( Around Dec 23rd 2012)
Hey, I found another font I like : ) Sorry
, the little things get me easily excited, specially lately. If you have read my blog in sequence you are aware that I have had
some difficulties lately. Also that I have been living in a house in the country
like Snow White with little people my only company. Isolated from the modern
world, through the lack of technology, mainly no cable, no internet, no radio
and a broken carriage, I mean van.
Ok I am not in the middle of the forest but I am in the country, I have horses bordering our back yard, a dirt road that deposits white greyish, yucky mud in my driveway when it rains, and the sounds of cows in the not too far distance, deer occasionally can be seen “galloping” through and God only knows what other creatures are out there. Oh yeah, I once saw a pig around here too. The little people I share the house with do not go to work at a gem mine. I only live with four not seven of them and none of them have beards. Three are princesses, but not your typical storybook kind, trust me on that one! And there is one male, and I guess his ears are kind of elfish if you squint when you look at him, some days he is Optimus Prime, other days he is a handy tool extraordinaire cowboy, sometimes he is Spider Man. I never know who he will morph into from day to day. I swear he is part robot because it doesn’t matter what day of the week it is, whether we need to get up early or not, he wakes up at 7:30 am in his own if I didn’t woke him before that….
So you can imagine that after almost two weeks of only them for company and conversation for the most part, I was starting to feel a little cuckoo. Now I love my little house mates but after all I am a “queen” and even queens need to interact with “higher court” individuals once in a while. So you can imagine my glee today when the King Elf aka the little people co-creator offered an opportunity for me to get out of the palace and venture into the dangerous world of “Stores”. This is a dangerous time of the year to venture into other worlds away from the castle. See is almost Christmas and even though is a beautiful celebration many forget what they are celebrating to begin with. Some dwellers turn sweeter but others who normally hide the monster inside let it come out. Many drive their carriages like maniacs trying to get places a whole minute faster than they would had otherwise….and because …wait… what was I saying? See this is what happens when I try to write while the little people are still awake. I get interrupted, and by the time I get back to it I have no clue what I was getting at.
Oh yes! The little things. Like Ibuprophen lol Anyways, the weather was lovely today, quite warm actually for this time of year. I made it through the world of Stores in good time actually managing to accomplish my mission of assisting Santa Claus and the Wise men in finding Christmas and Three Kings day presents for the little people without going over the assigned budget. And trust me, as most of the kingdoms, the budget was very tight. After all Santa and the Wise men, are experiencing the effects of the recession too. Had to downsize the amount of elves in the work shop, really sad but even some of them got the pink slip, some camels did too on the transport department for the Wise Men. But God was good to me and I am guessing since Christmas is about celebrating His birthday, he made it possible in the spirit of the season. I breath easier knowing we were able to preserve the innocence of my little people for another year, I pray other’s find the same favor.
The king Elf was gracious enough to find me a radio from one of his knight friends for me to borrow and brought it over. I suspect my latest, not so friendly outburst gave him a clue that I needed some distraction and a way to find out what the weather is going to be. You see is very hard to figure out how to dress the little people for bed if I don't know. If they are too warm or too cold things happen….Too cold and the laundry pile may grow overnight due to waterworks, waking them up wet, cold and crying, too hot and they wake up in the middle of the night very grumpy also, which makes me tired in the morning.
Music has always been a companion to me. Since I can remember music has been a daily part of my life, in the house, the car, through dance and piano lessons. Music affects your mood, it can enhance it, make it better, match it, make you sad, silly, sentimental,happy. Music has a power of its own. When I got home and after the King Elf had departed back to his own world, the little people were obviously hyper. I turned the radio on and immediately felt like I had found a long, lost friend. There was an upbeat song playing. I started to dance and my oldest and youngest princesses joined me, the middle one was too busy running through a lava filled course along with the young elfish prince on the Star Wars World in the land of WII. We dance and laughed and clapped for a few songs. I left them enjoying themselves while I went about making dinner. This castle has no servants or workers of any kind. I am a queen of all trades.
So anyways such a little thing like a radio can make a huge difference in our kingdom existence. The queen is in a better mood and humming along now that music permeates the air, the little people break into dance here and there and we know how to get dressed for the day and for bed : ) The little things make a big difference. And like I stated in the beginning of this, Snow White I am not, as I am not a soprano but an alto, birds don’t come perch on my arm when I sing (thank goodness lol) and I am really not that fond of squirrels and I will eat rabbit without any qualms. No evil queen envies my porcelain beauty (have you looked at my pictures?) and my little people are much more entertaining, unpredictable and adorable than the seven dwarfs and their kisses and hugs are what makes this queen go to bed smiling and feeling warm inside no mater how cold is outside !
Ok I am not in the middle of the forest but I am in the country, I have horses bordering our back yard, a dirt road that deposits white greyish, yucky mud in my driveway when it rains, and the sounds of cows in the not too far distance, deer occasionally can be seen “galloping” through and God only knows what other creatures are out there. Oh yeah, I once saw a pig around here too. The little people I share the house with do not go to work at a gem mine. I only live with four not seven of them and none of them have beards. Three are princesses, but not your typical storybook kind, trust me on that one! And there is one male, and I guess his ears are kind of elfish if you squint when you look at him, some days he is Optimus Prime, other days he is a handy tool extraordinaire cowboy, sometimes he is Spider Man. I never know who he will morph into from day to day. I swear he is part robot because it doesn’t matter what day of the week it is, whether we need to get up early or not, he wakes up at 7:30 am in his own if I didn’t woke him before that….
So you can imagine that after almost two weeks of only them for company and conversation for the most part, I was starting to feel a little cuckoo. Now I love my little house mates but after all I am a “queen” and even queens need to interact with “higher court” individuals once in a while. So you can imagine my glee today when the King Elf aka the little people co-creator offered an opportunity for me to get out of the palace and venture into the dangerous world of “Stores”. This is a dangerous time of the year to venture into other worlds away from the castle. See is almost Christmas and even though is a beautiful celebration many forget what they are celebrating to begin with. Some dwellers turn sweeter but others who normally hide the monster inside let it come out. Many drive their carriages like maniacs trying to get places a whole minute faster than they would had otherwise….and because …wait… what was I saying? See this is what happens when I try to write while the little people are still awake. I get interrupted, and by the time I get back to it I have no clue what I was getting at.
Oh yes! The little things. Like Ibuprophen lol Anyways, the weather was lovely today, quite warm actually for this time of year. I made it through the world of Stores in good time actually managing to accomplish my mission of assisting Santa Claus and the Wise men in finding Christmas and Three Kings day presents for the little people without going over the assigned budget. And trust me, as most of the kingdoms, the budget was very tight. After all Santa and the Wise men, are experiencing the effects of the recession too. Had to downsize the amount of elves in the work shop, really sad but even some of them got the pink slip, some camels did too on the transport department for the Wise Men. But God was good to me and I am guessing since Christmas is about celebrating His birthday, he made it possible in the spirit of the season. I breath easier knowing we were able to preserve the innocence of my little people for another year, I pray other’s find the same favor.
The king Elf was gracious enough to find me a radio from one of his knight friends for me to borrow and brought it over. I suspect my latest, not so friendly outburst gave him a clue that I needed some distraction and a way to find out what the weather is going to be. You see is very hard to figure out how to dress the little people for bed if I don't know. If they are too warm or too cold things happen….Too cold and the laundry pile may grow overnight due to waterworks, waking them up wet, cold and crying, too hot and they wake up in the middle of the night very grumpy also, which makes me tired in the morning.
Music has always been a companion to me. Since I can remember music has been a daily part of my life, in the house, the car, through dance and piano lessons. Music affects your mood, it can enhance it, make it better, match it, make you sad, silly, sentimental,happy. Music has a power of its own. When I got home and after the King Elf had departed back to his own world, the little people were obviously hyper. I turned the radio on and immediately felt like I had found a long, lost friend. There was an upbeat song playing. I started to dance and my oldest and youngest princesses joined me, the middle one was too busy running through a lava filled course along with the young elfish prince on the Star Wars World in the land of WII. We dance and laughed and clapped for a few songs. I left them enjoying themselves while I went about making dinner. This castle has no servants or workers of any kind. I am a queen of all trades.
So anyways such a little thing like a radio can make a huge difference in our kingdom existence. The queen is in a better mood and humming along now that music permeates the air, the little people break into dance here and there and we know how to get dressed for the day and for bed : ) The little things make a big difference. And like I stated in the beginning of this, Snow White I am not, as I am not a soprano but an alto, birds don’t come perch on my arm when I sing (thank goodness lol) and I am really not that fond of squirrels and I will eat rabbit without any qualms. No evil queen envies my porcelain beauty (have you looked at my pictures?) and my little people are much more entertaining, unpredictable and adorable than the seven dwarfs and their kisses and hugs are what makes this queen go to bed smiling and feeling warm inside no mater how cold is outside !
Monday, February 6, 2012
A Christmas Tree in the Kitchen ( Jan 7th 2012)
You are probably wondering at the tittle of
this post. Well is literal, I did had a Christmas tree in my
kitchen….
But let me back up here for a minute.
Since I am a full Puerto Rican I have always tried to teach my children about their Puerto Rican roots and traditions. Therefore we celebrate Epiphany or as is better know back home Dia de Reyes (Three Kings day). This is celebrated on January 6 and if you are wondering why 2 weeks after Christmas is because the Wise Men didn’t get to Jesus till later and not the night he was born. So anyways, they brought Jesus plenty of presents although there is mayor popular knowledge of the main 3 gifts. Accordingly the Three Kings bring children gifts on the eve of the 6th. Because they travel on camels, children collect grass in shoe boxes to leave by the foot of their beds for the camels. In the morning when they wake up most of the grass is gone and a gift is left for the child.
I always keep the school age kids home with
me on Dia de Reyes. Since is our tradition and is tied to our Christian beliefs,
I give it the same importance as Christmas day. Plus it would be cruel to have
them wake up to a gift only to have to rush out to school lol. I also keep all
the Christmas decorations up including the tree until this day. Actually in
Puerto Rico it goes longer as we have what’s known as “octavitas”, which
extends the festivities for another eight days. I do not know where or how that
originated. In my opinion is just a great excuse to keep the *parrandas* going
for another week. I’ll try to explain what parrandas are but it’s a long
explanation. Lets just say they are sort like caroling in that a group goes to a
friends house to house ( without advance notice and late at night as the object
is to wake them up) adding each house members to the group as they go singing
for people to open the door, invite them in and offer refreshments. The songs
are nothing like Christmas carols even though they are mostly about Christmas
time. Parrandas are a lot of fun and they involved a lot of singing, playing
traditional instruments like pleneras and congas, eating, some drinking (ok
sometimes a lot of it) and friends having a good time together all night long
until breakfast time, when the last host is responsible for providing it
(Therefore this person usually is the only one told in advance as they will
have to feed a lot of people as the group keeps getting bigger through the
night).
Sadly I have heard from people in the island that this tradition is sort of slowly dying due to the current state of affairs with crime. Would be really sad if it dies completely as is something that brought people together in a a good way, and within it also conserved another important part of our culture which is Bomba. I wont go into what that is now but is an important part of our culture and it started with the slaves. I have great memories of this nights of fun with my friends and waking up in the middle of the night by “parranderos” going to my neighbors. And nobody ever cared as it was an essential part of life during Christmas and everybody enjoyed it. I remember all of us giggling as we parked our cars a block or so away for the intended target and tried to walk quietly to their house and counting softly to 3 and then screaming “PARRANDA!!!!” and breaking out in song, usually one that started with “Asomate al balcon para que veas mi parranda, asomate al balcon para que veas quien te canta, asomate al balcon, formemos un bacilon” (Come out to the balcony so you can see mi parranda, come out to the balcony so you can see who is singing to you, come out to the balcony lets get a party going) *sigh* The good lol’ days lol.
Ok wow I sure got of track but it was sort of necessary to explain the background of keeping the Christmas tree up after New Year’s.
Anyhow it was time for me to put all the Christmas stuff away. So I took down the stockings, all the ornaments on my “display pool table” (if you are lost about that read prior posts, is explained somewhere in there). Then I proceeded to put away the tree ornaments. Once this was done only the tree remained. Well this year I used a pre lit tree. Is 7 1/2 feet tall and very heavy. Is made of three parts that interlock and through all that lights are connected. Well the issue at hand was that I don’t have a box to put it in as the box it came in was totally broken because the tree had been stored in a barn (long story). I have a huge tub where I keep the tree I used in the prior years, which I didn’t use this year because is humongous , super wide and it takes about 10 super long strands of lights that have to be manually put on to lit the whole thing properly. I didn’t have the space for it in the living room with the pool table there, nor the desire to put on that many strings of lights on it. Ok so the problem is that tree is still stored in the tub, so back to the issue, I had nowhere to put the current tree in. So I decided that since the back room on the other side of the house is not being used and has a big “closet” I could just put the whole tree, still together in one piece in there. I had already stored all the Christmas filled tubs in there. So now the question was how to get it there…
As you may have noticed from other posts once I get into my head that I want to get something done I can be pretty stubborn or determined, however you want to look at it, about getting it done. So I got a piece of cardboard and with effort and danger of the whole thing toppling on me I managed to get the base of the tree on the piece of cardboard. This made the process of pulling it (dragging, whatever) the giant across the tile floor without damage to the floor or to my ears. Still it was no easy job, as the giant is pretty heavy. Not to mention my kitchen is a galley kitchen and this was the way to go through to the laundry room and then to the back room on the other side of it (across a hallway). Yes, I know, I am insane.
So I managed to get the tree in the middle
of my kitchen after much pulling, pushing and scratching of my arms and face.
And there it was, a Christmas tree sort of stuck in the middle of my kitchen!
Now it was either finish moving it or having to go in semi circles back and
forth to be able to get anything out of the fridge and then around again to take
it to the stove to cook lol. So I kept my work out (I can see my biceps getting
toned hahahaha) and managed to get it in front of the fridge ready to go through
the door to the laundry room. That’s when I hit the biggest snag. The ceiling
is low. You would have to look at the house to understand better but to give you
an idea this house has a whole section that was added to it many years after it
was built, additions done by the original owner by himself. It is to that side I
was slowly but surely moving the tree to until it became stuck.
It took a lot of leaning it, pulling, an
sheer determination but I got it through the door into the laundry room, more of
less in one piece (I am referring to me) where I decided that was enough out of
the way and left it where the drier should be lol. And that was that!
But let me back up here for a minute.
Since I am a full Puerto Rican I have always tried to teach my children about their Puerto Rican roots and traditions. Therefore we celebrate Epiphany or as is better know back home Dia de Reyes (Three Kings day). This is celebrated on January 6 and if you are wondering why 2 weeks after Christmas is because the Wise Men didn’t get to Jesus till later and not the night he was born. So anyways, they brought Jesus plenty of presents although there is mayor popular knowledge of the main 3 gifts. Accordingly the Three Kings bring children gifts on the eve of the 6th. Because they travel on camels, children collect grass in shoe boxes to leave by the foot of their beds for the camels. In the morning when they wake up most of the grass is gone and a gift is left for the child.
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| Collecting grass for the camels |
Sadly I have heard from people in the island that this tradition is sort of slowly dying due to the current state of affairs with crime. Would be really sad if it dies completely as is something that brought people together in a a good way, and within it also conserved another important part of our culture which is Bomba. I wont go into what that is now but is an important part of our culture and it started with the slaves. I have great memories of this nights of fun with my friends and waking up in the middle of the night by “parranderos” going to my neighbors. And nobody ever cared as it was an essential part of life during Christmas and everybody enjoyed it. I remember all of us giggling as we parked our cars a block or so away for the intended target and tried to walk quietly to their house and counting softly to 3 and then screaming “PARRANDA!!!!” and breaking out in song, usually one that started with “Asomate al balcon para que veas mi parranda, asomate al balcon para que veas quien te canta, asomate al balcon, formemos un bacilon” (Come out to the balcony so you can see mi parranda, come out to the balcony so you can see who is singing to you, come out to the balcony lets get a party going) *sigh* The good lol’ days lol.
Ok wow I sure got of track but it was sort of necessary to explain the background of keeping the Christmas tree up after New Year’s.
Anyhow it was time for me to put all the Christmas stuff away. So I took down the stockings, all the ornaments on my “display pool table” (if you are lost about that read prior posts, is explained somewhere in there). Then I proceeded to put away the tree ornaments. Once this was done only the tree remained. Well this year I used a pre lit tree. Is 7 1/2 feet tall and very heavy. Is made of three parts that interlock and through all that lights are connected. Well the issue at hand was that I don’t have a box to put it in as the box it came in was totally broken because the tree had been stored in a barn (long story). I have a huge tub where I keep the tree I used in the prior years, which I didn’t use this year because is humongous , super wide and it takes about 10 super long strands of lights that have to be manually put on to lit the whole thing properly. I didn’t have the space for it in the living room with the pool table there, nor the desire to put on that many strings of lights on it. Ok so the problem is that tree is still stored in the tub, so back to the issue, I had nowhere to put the current tree in. So I decided that since the back room on the other side of the house is not being used and has a big “closet” I could just put the whole tree, still together in one piece in there. I had already stored all the Christmas filled tubs in there. So now the question was how to get it there…
As you may have noticed from other posts once I get into my head that I want to get something done I can be pretty stubborn or determined, however you want to look at it, about getting it done. So I got a piece of cardboard and with effort and danger of the whole thing toppling on me I managed to get the base of the tree on the piece of cardboard. This made the process of pulling it (dragging, whatever) the giant across the tile floor without damage to the floor or to my ears. Still it was no easy job, as the giant is pretty heavy. Not to mention my kitchen is a galley kitchen and this was the way to go through to the laundry room and then to the back room on the other side of it (across a hallway). Yes, I know, I am insane.
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| See the low ceiling and the door frame? lol |
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| Eureka!!! lol |
Finally Getting Christmas Going (Dec 15th 2012)
We are finally moved into our house although not
totally unpacked, but there are things that take first place. Christmas has
waited long enough and is time to get it going.
As things would have it, it seems it’s never the usual business around here lol. I have a full size pool table in the middle of my living room. No, that was not my idea, it was there. The kids daddy had come over to help move the furniture into place and set up the bedrooms. We tried to move the pool table but you can guess that did not work. So I am using it as a Christmas display table. You have to work with what’s given to you and make the best of it.
You’ll have to excuse me if I mistype while I write
this as I am trying to down a cup of nasty Theraflu. It does work, I just wish
they would make it taste less like medicine and more like the actual soothing
chamomile, lemon, honey taste they claim to be. I have had the flu for a good
month now. The degree of intensity comes and goes but it does not want to
leave. This is what happens when you have multiple children and some of them go
to germ town, I mean school. And how could you not hug them, kiss them, comfort
them. My house is a merry go round of cold virus that laughs at my efforts to
vanish it.
Ok , now that I have finished my cup of the yucky medicine and have washed the flavor off with a couple fudge filled cookies and ton of water, maybe I can focus on the theme at hand.
So I went to put together the Christmas tree. Its not my usual tree, is one that has been donated by the kids grandmother as mine is humongous and needs a mile long strand of lights and more ornaments than I have. Not to mention the fact that with the pool table in the room there is not enough space for a tree that big. Anyhow I go to take the pieces of the “slightly used tree” (which by the way is pre-lit) and there is no stand for the tree….Now I am left with two choices. Either I try to put up my regular tree where it doesn’t fit or don’t put up a tree at all yet. As I have mentioned before I can be a stubborn (I prefer determined) woman. I consider myself pretty resourceful when I need to be, so I take out the stand for my tree and see how the other tree fits in it. The stand is too wide but I am not defeated in the least. I cut pieces of a shoe box and and fill in the stand until is a snug fit. Now we are in business! Again is about working with what you have been given and making the best of it.
Oh , oh…I can feel my head start to float away as the Theraflu starts to take effect. This mami is going to put the laptop away and lay down to “watch” a movie I will not finish because I will be out before I’m half way through it lol The rest of the story will have to wait until tomorrow in the mean time, sleep well world.
About 8 hours have gone by. I slept fairly good.
Today is the last day of school. So now I am faced with two and a half weeks of
having all the children in the house 24/7 with no “time out” back up like TV,
internet (they do love great sites like Starfall, Sesame street, PBS kids,
etc), a collection of DVD’s they have seen 100’s of times and a very limited
variety of WII games. So is time to get creative. Don’t get me wrong, this are
not activities I would want them to be engaged in for hours every day, but they
are nice ones to have for when is time for me to cook dinner, or the weather
outside is nasty, or when I need an hour of peace (aka no fighting between
siblings) just to recharge. So what do I do with them? And keep in mind that I
have a 10 yr old girl, a 5 1/2 yr old boy, a 4 yr old girl and a 20 month old
girl at home. Some time will be spent outside riding bicycles and tricycles and
running after the baby constantly to prevent her from going on the road. How do
you all think I stay in shape? lol There are board games, which of course
usually start nicely enough but eventually brings out an argument or a tantrum.
Hmmmmm I wonder how long it will take before it gets to that. They can make
Christmas cards, provided the baby is in her “jail” aka play pen or taking a nap
to avoid mayor disasters. We can bake cookies to give out as presents and take
out to neighbors, we can designate specific themes for play time, Little people
day (the fisher Price ones I am talking about), Hot Wheels day, Barbie and
friends day ( yes I know there is a boy in the house, he is learning how to be
good to the women in his life), we can have story time where we make up our own
stories.
Well is days later and I have written other posts in
the meantime. is a normal thing for this to happen as I can’t seem to be able to
write uninterrupted unless is late at night and since I was under the influence
of night time meds that never happened . But hey, that’s real life happening
here, so even if I got to no conclusion I will still publish it when I get
internet access. So I guess the conclusion of this post is that life is in
constant motion, things hardly ever go as planned and still we manage to go on.
And when it comes to children , they really do not need too much. I know mine
have been perfectly happy having the tree and stockings up and the “DO NOT
TOUCH” mami’s villa on the pool table with the Nativity. Aside for that , all
they required is to be fed, listened to and loved showered on them. As I take my
tired self to bed I only hope they know how much they mean to me and I hope my
older, grown boys know how much I miss them and I still see their little faces
running around and that in my heart they will always be my babies : )
As things would have it, it seems it’s never the usual business around here lol. I have a full size pool table in the middle of my living room. No, that was not my idea, it was there. The kids daddy had come over to help move the furniture into place and set up the bedrooms. We tried to move the pool table but you can guess that did not work. So I am using it as a Christmas display table. You have to work with what’s given to you and make the best of it.
 |
| Work in progress |
Ok , now that I have finished my cup of the yucky medicine and have washed the flavor off with a couple fudge filled cookies and ton of water, maybe I can focus on the theme at hand.
So I went to put together the Christmas tree. Its not my usual tree, is one that has been donated by the kids grandmother as mine is humongous and needs a mile long strand of lights and more ornaments than I have. Not to mention the fact that with the pool table in the room there is not enough space for a tree that big. Anyhow I go to take the pieces of the “slightly used tree” (which by the way is pre-lit) and there is no stand for the tree….Now I am left with two choices. Either I try to put up my regular tree where it doesn’t fit or don’t put up a tree at all yet. As I have mentioned before I can be a stubborn (I prefer determined) woman. I consider myself pretty resourceful when I need to be, so I take out the stand for my tree and see how the other tree fits in it. The stand is too wide but I am not defeated in the least. I cut pieces of a shoe box and and fill in the stand until is a snug fit. Now we are in business! Again is about working with what you have been given and making the best of it.
Oh , oh…I can feel my head start to float away as the Theraflu starts to take effect. This mami is going to put the laptop away and lay down to “watch” a movie I will not finish because I will be out before I’m half way through it lol The rest of the story will have to wait until tomorrow in the mean time, sleep well world.
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| In front of the decorated tree :) |
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| The supervisor says "Good job!" |
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| Making Red Velvet cookie batter |
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| Sampling some cookies |
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