Single Parent Woes (Jan 18th 2012)

Being a single parent is not an easy thing to do. Specially when you get sick, or there is something wrong with you. Add to that not having family in town, having well meaning friends but who are busy with their jobs and own families and you find that you alone are the only thing your children have to take care of their hourly needs.
Today my 10 year old daughter realized how hard it is at times to be a parent by herself.

I had a very bad day. I need two root canals but is something I can’t take care of right now. I have dealt with the pain on and off as it comes and goes using Ibuprophen. I woke up this morning with slight pain, but the kind I knew would escalate. So at 6 am I took 800 mg. I know that’s ok since is how I got through two c-sections recovery. By 10 am the pain was pretty bad. it makes my head hurt, my ear and it feels like somebody shot me and the bullet is stuck on the side of my face. But I know better than to take any more medication without at least 6 hours in between.
My grandmother in law called to see what time the kids would be home to come over as she got them something at the store. I haven’t seen her since Thanks Giving for one reason or another (including my dumb van problems) so I was more than happy to tell her to come over. Plus the kids would love seeing her too. She is an amazing lady and a wonderful great grandma to them. It was a short day at school so they would be home by 1. I figured that I would be taking meds by 12 so I should be ok by the time she got here around 2pm.

Boy was I wrong! The pain really didn’t go away, it just stayed at the level that it was , which was a good 6 or 7 on a 1 to 10 scale. I did loved having her over and I smiled and chat with her without letting know how much I was hurting. She left around 3 pm and my pain exploded. Nausea overtook me along with dizziness due to the intensity of it. I couldn’t take anything else until 6 pm…. I put the 21 month old down for a nap and told the other kids I needed to lay down. They are usually well behave and were entertained playing Prates of the Caribbean on the WII. I laid down and the pain was pretty unbelievable. The nausea was horrible and I couldn’t focus my vision. It got so bad I started to cry. I never do that…Even through tough labors I didn’t cry as I did this time. Unfortunately my kids heard me. My 10 year old is a very sensitive girl, so she came over and started to cry too. I explained to her it was just that I was in a lot of pain and that it would be ok. After that she took charge or her siblings. I managed to sleep for about an hour after much trouble and the pain etc continued to be as excruciating.
Then the baby woke up from her nap. Estrella ( the oldest) came and asked me what to do and I told her to put her in the playpen so that she could be in the living room with them. I can hear everything thats going on in my room. Of course my 21 month old doesn’t like being in the play pen too much at times. She is very active and loves to have free run of the house so she was crying in protest. Noel, who will be 6 in April was saying he was hungry and wanted a sandwich and Analise who is 4 was trying to convince her sister that she could have a lollipop. It was the normal chaos I deal with daily, but I was still incapacitated by pain, nausea and dizziness. I heard Estrella’s frustration when she said, “Now I know how hard it is to be a mami, how does she does it?” I called her and told her the baby will get over being upset about being in the play pen, give her some toys she doesn’t have in there and it will distract her, you can all have sandwiches for dinner and tell Analise she can have the lollipop after dinner.
So she calmed the baby, made sandwiches and came back and said “It’s so hard to be a mami, I am sorry I am such a pain sometimes”. This would had made me laugh if I hadn’t been so miserable. Instead I cried again out of frustration and out of love for my precious child. I told her I was very sorry and she said “What are you sorry for? You haven’t done anything’, I said “I am sorry I couldn’t take care of you guys this evening and you had to do it”. Then she said “Don’t be sorry Mami, you are not feeling well, you need to rest, I can do it, do you want me to put everybody to bed when is time?”. God I am so blessed! I told her no, I would go lay in the living room until bed time and then put them in bed. By the way the baby had a sandwich too lol.

I was still in so much pain, the nausea wouldn’t leave me and I couldn’t stand to keep my eyes open. Noel brought me a pillow so I could be more comfortable and they watched a Barbie movie. Poor kid has to watch 80% girly movies since he is the only boy among the 4 of them and my oldest boys are grown and do not live here. At 6 pm I took another dose
I managed to semi sleep some more while they watched the movie and then it was time for bed. They know the routine, bathroom , drink water and bed. Sure they didn’t take a bath today but who cares. it was raining all day so they did nothing that would made them sweat or dirty lol. Noel has been sick and he is prone to develop asthma attacks so he has been sleeping with the humidifier on. I set it up while they were using the bathroom, warmed up a glass of milk for the baby and put them to bed. By then my pain had finally subside enough to be a throbbing but no more nausea or dizziness. My oldest daughter instructed me to get a good night sleep.
I managed to eat a little something and took a shower.

I am writing now, killing time as I know if I don’t take more meds at 12am I will greatly regret it later. That should get me through to 6 am which is when I get up to get them ready for school.
I am use to dealing with my kids on my own as my ex’s work has always involved a fair amount of traveling. Yet there are some of the times I feel alone, and frustrated and guilty that I am not super mom. But then my kids do things like make me a certificate that says “Awesome mami, you are magnificent, I love you” and leave it on my bedside table for me to see and I know I must be doing something right : )